NEWT GINGRICH'S PRESIDENTIAL COVENANT AND GENESIS OF DECEIT 20:12

 

By

Joseph Chez

5-11-11

                                                           Genesis of deceit 20:12

In Medieval Europe the rich and privileged deemed themselves conservative and righteous.  However, because it was a time of family values and exceptionalism, these privileged few were able to be absolved from sin by being part of the GOP’s (Grand Ol’ Pope’s) religious scheme; to have a market-base and common sense approach to when one would fall from grace – and sin. Since such era was fraught with harsh punishment for sinning, the rich and powerful were able to purchase sin insurance, called indulgences, so those preileged few could remain virtuous, excepted from punishment and still be the pillars of church and state. The poor on the other hand, were deemed of liberal mind and therefore, were considered heretics.  Consequently, they paid more taxes and frequently received the heavy hand of the church and state.  Even the smallest secular infractions were considered heretical and thus subject to punishment from the GOP.  And yet, in the grand scheme of things, present day GOP (Grand Old Party) has a different name, although, the scheme as before, is the same.

Oh Lord, forgive the trespasses of those bible thumping evangelist and their encounters with ladies of the night. Forgive thy lord, the silver haired 700 Club prophet who wined and dined his same sex lover in the extravagant California hotel. Understand my Lord that legs of republicans solicit at airports, if their legs happen to wonder underneath bathroom stalls. Be known ye lord, that there is an Appalachia trail in Argentina and therefore, pursuing loins outside the country is not a sin. But, if republicans cannot afford two turtle doves or two young pigeons, then they shall make payouts to render quiet the relationship with their senior aide’s wife. For if they pay, or resign in atonement, it will be deemed forgiven by the Lord.

When prophet Newt and former speaker of the house sinned, doing unwittingly any one of all the things which the Lord his God has commanded not to be done, and at the same time the GOP sons presided over the impeachment of the ruler of the state, Lord be it known that Newt’s intense patriotic efforts for his country was his offering for thy sin. Thus, prophet Newt has offered escape-goats as sin offering in hopes of remaining without blemish or sin. Thus, prophet Newt has understood the Lord to say, that the GOP and his sons have followed the strictest of the law of the sin offering: in the place where the repentance is before the Lord, patriotic fervor is proclaimed and family values are upheld, such sin offerings are therefore, most holy.

And so it is written, that republicans, sons of Sodom and Gomorra, often chant to the Lord praises of glory, declare their patriotism and love for their family. If the whole congregation of USA, USA unwittingly accepts repentance, the assembly shall lay their hands upon the head of the republican and give forgiveness upon the bull. And the sinner shall chant: “Forgive me Lord, for I have sinned!” I am a conservative, I am for family values, I belong to the GOP and the NRA, so, forgive me lord, for I have sinned. So, if loudly spoken, praises of God and country, the wicked shall have no fear of the wrath of God. Thus, as it was in medieval times, as it is in present day of good old USA, such is the political gospel which absolves republicans from public scorn and allows the political scoundrels to continue to indulge.

           ACT OF THE APOSTLE NEWT DECLARING HIS NOMINATION FOR 20:12

NEWT: My lord, I lay my loins before you and I must declare to you that once again, I have found a new appreciation for the role of faith in my public life.

GOD: (responding in silence) Oh no! It’s “Nuwdie” again….

NEWT: it's because I find that America has become too secular and that our religious beliefs and family values are being challenged by the cultural elite, that I am running for president in 20:12.

GOD: Clap your hands, all peoples! Shout to Nuwdie with loud songs of joy! But Newdie, what are your chances for the presidency when you have a long history of sin? You've even had past Congressional charges of ethic violations in your name? Do you only want relevance in today’s politics, or do you just want to cash-in?  By the way Newdy, how is young Calista? You scoundrel!

NEWT: As former Speaker of the House I initiated the Republican revolution, which made a Contract with America and it slowed the growth of the government.  That I did, for the good of the the American people. For this reason, I plan to continue my efforts to make America great again, while doing away with the EPA, cutting Medicare, education and Obama Care. 

GOD: Nuwdie, you mean the Republican revolution which put a “contract on America” and, by slowing the growth of government, you mean you shut it down? Nuwdie, you give your mouth free reign for evil and your tongue frames deceit!

NEWT: I will make America strong again. I now embrace the bold new thinking of the Tea Party movement. I will also bring back God to the American home.

GOD: Your speech is smoother than butter, yet hate is in your hart. Cut Medicare and social programs at a time when you yourselves dwell in your paneled houses, while the house of the poor and infirmed lies in ruins?

NEWT: I am now Catholic and Lord, to the church of God which is at Corinth, to those sanctified Republicans, together with all those who in every place call on the name of our Lord, that they may contribute to my candidacy for president and send money to any one of my organizations and I promise oh Lord, that they will receive a certificate in return. For I will champion my persona and your cause my Lord!

GOD: Cut the crap Nuwdie. Who are you trying to fool? What is your relevance today other than scamming patriotic scoundrels and sinners? Let’s see, you lead several non-profit organizations but all the monies from each organization, under a different name, still comes to you- for your self indulgence? You say that you are now a Catholic because Calista is Catholic? And of what religion were you from your previous lady? I see, use religion to get excited. Heh, heh, heeeeeh!

Nuwdie, let all those God fearing folk therefore know assuredly that God has made Barack Hussein Obama a lord of his people (20:12) and commander in chief, the apostle whom your sons of Gomorra have questioned the land of his birth and the one you attempt to crucify.

So Newt Gingrich, just remember, I am the alpha and the omega who is and who was, but you Nuwdie, you are no Ronald Reagan. Let’s see, what’s that bible quote? Oh yes, “if you see a thief you are a friend of his; and you keep company with adulterers.” Please Nuwdie, don’t do me any favors, and don’t preach religion – when you don't live it!